Mother’s Day After a Miscarriage
Do you know what is considered the shortest story ever written? It’s a tragedy in six words and it goes like this:
For Sale. Baby Shoes. Never Worn.
Sadly, that tiny story is the reality for more women than you may realize. Mother’s Day brings up intense and mixed emotions for a lot of women. You feel like you are a mother or wait you were a mother or wait, was I? Nobody else is treating me like I am a mother. At least that’s what I went through – or something like it. And then…one day you meet the person who knows you are, indeed, a mother. I recall the validation I felt at being told that it was ok to consider myself a mom even if no one else did. It was such a relief.
Only those who are part of this group understand what it’s like to get through a Mother’s Day after miscarriage or stillbirth. Sadly the cost to enter this group is high. Having gone through pregnancy loss is the only way to become a part of this group – something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
A lot of women face miscarriage alone. And then they face Mother’s Day alone. Mother’s Day is a time for celebration. But for those who have experienced pregnancy loss, it can be really tough. You may still spend the day celebrating with your own mother or other women in your life but no one acknowledges your motherhood experience. Lots of reasons why, such as: it was too brief, you didn’t hold your baby, your babe didn’t have a name, you didn’t even hear his heartbeat or just simply people don’t know what to say or are afraid to bring it up.
If you know someone who has gone through pregnancy loss it only takes a small acknowledgement to ease the pain of the day – just a little bit for mom’s who never got the chance to meet their babies.
This Mother’s Day I’ll be thinking of all the mom’s whose pregnancies were too brief, who didn’t get to hold their babies, who weren’t told they could name their baby, who didn’t get to experience the joy of hearing that first heartbeat, who still have baby sleepers that have never been worn. Even if you have baby shoes that were never worn, you’ll always be a mom.